DENISE GROBBELAAR - JUNGIAN ANALYST Clinical Psychologist & Psychotherapist
​0842433648
  • Home
  • About me
    • Upcoming talks & lectures
    • Publications
    • White Lion Dream Appreciation Retreat
  • Psychotherapy
  • Dreams
  • Enneagram
    • Enneagram courses
  • Consulting
  • CONTACT ME
  • Blog

The Absent Mother

7/8/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
“The wounds arise from early losses, rejections and insufficient holding environment arising in part from experiences with the absent and blank mother. They leave behind the nagging feeling of being flawed and inadequate. Perfectionistic habits develop to compensate but do not lead to growth.” (p. 27)
 
Unease, anxiety, or perhaps even a sense of unexplained dread, low self-worth and a lack of confidence, a feeling of being an imposter or living a façade may all be symptoms of inadequate mothering. However, let’s not blame the personal mother as we know now that intergenerational trauma is passed on from parents to children; generation to generation; and that it is extremely difficult to mother properly when inadequate mothering was received.
 
We have also learned that, for optimal mothering, the mother needs to be adequately contained by the father and/or a community. Inexperienced mothers often find themselves alone in the challenging process of mothering amidst difficult circumstances. Many mothers are traumatized themselves and may dissociate from their internal world and feelings of sorrow, abandonment and betrayal in order to survive psychologically. They become absent to themselves and consequently to their children. These complex emotionally deadening internal spaces, where there is deficient relationship to self – and lack of connection to others - are transferred from mother to child. This emptiness becomes a fault line in the personality.
 
A psychologically absent mother “cannot recognize or support the child’s psychic aliveness and this denies permission for the child to exist or be separate.” (p. 14) Whether outright or subtle, maternal rejection, emotional neglect or a lack of secure attachment arrests the healthy development of the child.  A mother who is unable to relate to her child’s authentic self-expression, treating the child as a narcissistic extension of herself, can’t fulfill the child’s basic needs for love, affirmation and validation. This impacts the child’s the ability to feel and express love in a healthy manner and a self-denigration may develop. The lack of the mother as an internal anchor reverberates through the personality.  

 
References:
Susan E. Schwartz, Ph.D. THE ABSENCE OF MOTHER
https://speakingofjung.com/podcast/2019/1/18/episode-40-susan-schwartz
Image credit: Andrew Peterson 
#jungsouthernafrica #jung #carljung #jungpsychology #jungianpsychology #depthpsychology #analyticalpsychology #unconscious #consciousness #archetypes #individuation #shadow  #mother #positivemother #negativemother #mothercomplex #motherarchetype#archetypalmother #absentmother #narcassticmother #emptiness
#capetown #capetownsouthafrica #capetownlife #capetownliving
0 Comments

Who is the Observer?

7/8/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
In my previous post I asked the question “Who is the observer?”  in this Great Vivarium of Life, whether on a personal or collective level.
 
We have become entangled in an intricate dance of observers and observed. Television, the movies and social media have given us a widow into the full spectrum of possible behaviour in our specie, as well allowing us to observe our world at large without any direct contact or involvement, on an unprecedented level. If self-aware, we can see ourselves reflected in other people’s behaviour as they carry our Shadow aspects, denied expression in ourselves, or even worse denied consciousness in our minds.
 
In the past written and oral tradition in the forms of mythologies and fairy-tale carried the stories of Life. Now real incidents from all over the world are in our living rooms… even in our bedrooms! It is now no longer a case of ‘bad things happening far away’ in our global village. We have indeed become participant observers in life.  Just observe the different reactions to Covid19 and lockdowns all around the world.
 
Spiritual traditions all around the world encourage the development of the silent inner observer as opposed to holding a one-sided ego perspective, reinforcing what we already ‘know’. In this way we can really get to know ourselves in our complete horrifying wholeness - as gods and demons, the unhumanised parts of ourselves, our glorious light as well as our darkest depths.
 
If we regard the individual psyche as a Great Vivarium and we develop the inner observer within this framework - with the capacity to witness all our aspects, we can invite authenticity and a deep grounded sense of being in this world. We are mythological creatures like dragons and phoenixes and, at the same time, fragile human beings vulnerable to forces known to us as well as those beyond our understanding.  We get caught in social programming, we suffer trauma and we rise to heights unimageable to our ancestors.  Our DNA can trip us up through an illness carried forth by our ancestral line. Archetypal patterns can take possession of us, inflate or deflate our sense of self, driving our behaviour from the deep unconscious. 

 
Image credit: Kaitlyn Page  http://the-inner-observer.deviantart.com 
 
#greatvivarium #vivarium #placeoflife #container #structure #pscyhe #ecosystem #internal
#dreamtime #activeimagination #visualjourney#hypnogogic #meditation #messages
#Observer #innerobserver #witnessing #unconscious #shadow #socialprogramming #trauma
#archetypalpatterns #gods #demons #Dragons #phoenixes
 
0 Comments

The mother complex and the underlying archetype

7/6/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
Our beginnings are rooted in the mother. We are born from her body, imprinted with her DNA (combined with the father’s) and biologically programmed to seek and recognize her. According to Jung, this innate need for mothering is a universal archetypal pattern.
 
‘Good enough mothering’ is important for the psychological and physical well-being of a growing human being. A nurturing, caring and psychologically present mother person (not necessarily the biological mother) during infancy and early childhood is a keystone of optimal adult human health.
 
But what if the mother figure is either emotionally, physically, or psychologically absent?
 
The mother’s impact on her children can be enlivening or deadening as reflected in the positive and negative mother complexes. “The negative mother complex can include self-alienation… It adversely affects confidence, promotes idealization of others and erodes life energy; feeds an internalized cycle of self-hatred, oppression, and vengeance.”  (p. 7)
 
“At the core of the mother complex is the mother archetype, which means that behind emotional associations with the personal mother, there is both an archetypal image of nourishment and security on the one hand and an archetypal negative of devouring possessiveness, darkness and deprivation on the other.”(p. 3) The mother archetype can manifest as the ‘loving’ mother, demonstrating nurture, wisdom, fertility, birth and growth (Jung, 1990, par. 158), but may also manifest as the ‘terrible’ mother (Jung, 1990, par. 157), devouring, engulfing or suffocating her children emotionally  
 
Allan Score’s Interpersonal Regulation Theory, grounded in developmental neuroscience and attachment theory/research emphasizes how our sense of self as well as brain development are formed via our early relationships.  Early interpersonal trauma such as loss, rejection, absence and insufficient holding may lead to feelings of being flawed, inadequate and ‘not good enough’.
 
Awareness of how mother images live within is us integral to becoming more conscious. Join us this month as we explore the relationship with the mother, whether personal or collective, and the impact on one’s sense of self.


​A post I wrote for @jungsouthernafrica
 
Image credit: Gustav Klimt
 
References:
Susan E. Schwartz, Ph.D. THE ABSENCE OF MOTHER
https://speakingofjung.com/podcast/2019/1/18/episode-40-susan-schwartz

 
#jungsouthernafrica #jung #carljung #jungpsychology #jungianpsychology #depthpsychology #analyticalpsychology #unconscious #consciousness #archetypes #individuation #shadow  #mother #positivemother #negativemother #mothercomplex #motherarchetype#archetypalmother
#capetown #capetownsouthafrica #capetownlife #capetownliving
0 Comments

“You are part of a great Vivarium” - A ‘Dream Time’ message

7/6/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
“You are part of a great Vivarium”.
 
This message from ‘Dream Time’ came through as a hypnogogic musing while having a spontaneous visual journey or active imagination during a meditation practice.  The words jolted me into being present. The visual image of traveling down a passage or through a portal with an unknown man in an explorative journey fading away. This male figure may have been what Jung would have called the Animus, or masculine aspect of a woman.
 
The word ‘vivarium’ being unknown to me, my immediate thought was that I was being enlightened as to my cosmic origin and ancestry. (LOL).  However, I decided to have a look on Google. A different meaning then took shape.
 
In Latin ‘vivarium’ means ‘place of life.  In general it refers to a closed ecosystem created or constructed for the purposes of research and observation.  Environmental conditions may be regulated to achieve the optimal survival value for the organisms within in the enclosure, structure or container created for this purpose.
 
A vivarium may be small enough to sit on a counter surface, or may be a very large structure, either indoors or outdoors. There are various forms of vivariums, including: Aquarium, Oceanarium, Aviary, Fish pond, Greenhouse, Conservatory, Paludarium, Riparium, Terrarium, Herpetarium, Serpentarium, Insectarium, and others.
 
Earth might be seen as a great vivarium in which every living organism is a part and may be highly impacted by any environmental changes - whether by way of humidity, light, temperature, soil conditions, etc., or topically, by viruses that may be introduced into the system.
 
Metaphorically speaking, our own psyche could also be seen as a great vivarium in which different parts or aspects, such as DNA, cellular memory, neurological pathways, biological systems (endocrine, nervous, respiratory, ect.), thought, emotional and behavioural patterns, whether conscious or residing in the deep unconscious of our specie, contribute to the overall well-being of our internal structure.
 
If vivariums are designed for the purpose of research and observation, the question that remains is “Who is the observer?”

 
See my next post for an exploration of this question.
 
Image credit: https://jooheeyoon.com/
Cover page for The Age of Sustainability - Just Transitions in a Complex World
By Mark Swilling (2020)
 
#greatvivarium #vivarium #placeoflife #container #structure #pscyhe #ecosystem #internal
#dreamtime #activeimagination #visualjourney#hypnogogic #meditation #messages
#Animus #wellbeing #cosmicorigin #ancestry 
0 Comments

    Author

    Denise Grobbelaar

    Archives

    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020

    Categories

    All
    Active Imagination
    Alchemy
    Anima & Animus
    Animal Symbolism
    Archetypes
    Complexes
    Dark Night Of The Soul
    Dreams
    Enneagram
    Fairy Tales
    Gods & Goddesses
    Individuation
    Masculine & Feminine
    Mysticism
    Mythology
    New Beginnings
    Shadow
    Shamanism
    Symbolism
    The Impact Of Childhood Experiences
    The Living Earth & Nature
    The Other
    Trauma

    RSS Feed

Picture
Denise Grobbelaar 

Clinical Psychologist
                & Psychotherapist                                

Consulting Psychologist
​Individual, Team & Leadership Development 

            Enneagram Practitioner                                                 

              Cell: 084 243 3648                                                             
      denisegrobbelaar@gmail.com     
Picture