Jung said that children inherit the ‘unlived lives’ of their parents. This includes the shadow aspects, both positive and negative, suppressed by the mother and/or father.  But what of often polarized sibling relationships  - the frustrating or alienating attitude of a same-sex sibling who has such an opposite way of being in the world that that it makes an authentic relationship almost impossible?  One partner in this shadow dance frequently recoils from the inevitable conflict, resulting in an estranged relationship.    
 
​Mythology is filled with examples of sister or brother pairs, one dark, the other light, who take diametrically opposed positions in society, representing the ego and shadow aspects needing reconciliation within an individual. Eve and Lilith, Psyche and Orual, Inanna and Ereshkigal are examples of sisters who hold different counterpoints to each other’s gifts - one living the upper world, the other in the underworld: one resonating with the world of matter, the other preoccupied with spirit and mind. “Forever separate, forever bound, in life these pairs are often torn apart by intense envy, jealousy, competition, and misunderstanding” (1).
 
Romulus and Remus, Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Gilgamesh and Enkidu, Parzival and Feirefiz, represent the motif of the two ‘hostile brothers’ (2), where one may  ultimately murder the other.  However, if we are willing to value and integrate a trait from our hidden and denied (internal) shadow sister/brother – the thing we do not want to be - rather than trying to kill it off, we expand our sense of self and develop previously neglected skills – whether  boldness or quietness, gentleness or aggression, passivity or leadership.
 
In fairytales the stepsister represents the opposite and shadow aspects of the heroine , such as the hardworking Cinderella (who marries the Prince) and her lazy stepsisters.  In the fairytale ‘Mother Holle’ the diligent sister is rewarded with gold, while the lazy sister is covered in black pitch. People may long for illumination, but who dares to admit their own laziness when it comes to doing the hard work of exploring the Unconscious?
 
Sources:
1. Abrams, J., & In Zweig, C. (1991). Meeting the shadow: The hidden power of the dark side of human nature. Los Angeles: J.P. Tarcher, p. 63 -72
2. CW 11, paras. 132-3
3. https://www.wisecronecottage.com/2016/08/the-story-of-frau-holle-further-analysis
 
Image credit:
Cain slaying Abel by Unknown c. 1900
 
A post I wrote for @jungsouthernafrica
 
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The horrific image of a father cutting off the hands of his daughter belongs only in fairytales, or does it? Hands symbolize our ability to grasp and to hold, to take care of ourselves (and others). To be without hands is to be disempowered, helpless and dependent on others.  How many fathers inhibit their daughters’ development, keeping them as little girls, preventing them from growing into strong, powerful woman?
 
There are an abundance of tales depicting this brutal image such as the “Handless Maiden” fairytale; gruesome stories of mutilation, of fathers (or brothers) hacking off the limbs of young girls, either in rage or in selfish bargains with the Devil (Shadow). Traditional narratives about these stories see it as an initiation rite of the wounded feminine soul. But the troubling abuse in the story echoes the constant underlying fear and threat of physical or emotional violence that saturates the lives of girls and women.
 
The Story goes like this: A struggling miller unknowingly sells his daughter to the devil in exchange for wealth, having promised the devil whatever is behind his mill, not realizing that it may be his daughter (who was there sweeping). During the transaction the father chops off his daughter’s hands, but due to her ‘healing’ tears the devil can’t claim her. The first part of the fairytale could represent a father’s unconsciousness – his ignorance of his own impact on his daughter and how his behaviour might disempower or even brutalized her.
 
The tale carries on when the daughter leaves, meets and marries a King who gives her silver hands and she gives birth to a son. However, due to the devil’s meddling, she was forced to retreat deep into the proverbial forest. Here an angel restores her hands as she encounters her emergent self without the old identity and crippling habits. She is eventually reunited with her husband.  

The fairytale becomes a blueprint for the journey of individuation – a transformation from wounded child to wholeness.  The story represents an initiation into the power of our own deep instincts aligned with the creative power of Nature, which we access if we take the journey inwards, into our deepest wilderness.
 
Other versions of the “Handless Maiden” include "The Girl Without Hands" (Germany), "The Girl With Her Hands Cut Off" (France), "Olive" (Italy), "Doña Bernarda" (Spain), "The Armless Maiden" (Russia), “The Armless Bride” (South Africa), "The Girl Without Arms" (Japan), "Rising Water, Talking Bird, and Weeping Tree" (French Louisiana) and many others. 
 
Read an in-depth exploration about this fairytale at: https://jessicadavidson.co.uk/tag/handless-maiden
Image credit: Jel Ena

A post I wrote for @jungsouthernafrica 
 
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