What is your conflict style?
The Enneagram Harmonics Groups refers to a person’s dominant response to stressful situations, crisis and conflict. It shows the underlying similarity in how certain clusters of Enneagram patterns emotionally self-regulate and cope with obstacles and difficulties.
People whose preferred style is COMPETANCY respond to conflict by going into a competent mode of functioning and taking an unemotional problem-solving approach. They tend to avoid experiencing any strong feelings, focusing on objectivity, rationality and logic. These patterns value efficiency as opposed to what they see as ‘irrationality’ expressed in emotional reasoning. Although efficiency is an effective problem-solving strategy, denying emotions can have detrimental consequences. They may also come across as cold and lacking empathy to others.
People whose preferred style is POSITIVE OUTLOOK respond to conflict by avoiding negativity. They avoid acknowledging their (and other’s) negative emotions and reactions. They focus on the positives and the best possible outcomes, on the silver lining within the dark cloud. They habitually look on the rosy side of things, “everything will be okay”. Their ability to reframe problems to put a positive spin on them may sometimes be necessary in certain situations. However, their focus on happiness and positivity can be used as avoidance of problems, causing problems to escalate.
People whose preferred style is INTENSE REACTIVENESS responds to conflict directly and emotionally. They express their reactions openly and in doing so, look for emotional mirroring, needing the other persons to match their emotional intensity. People with this conflict style may get caught in a never-ending loop of expressing emotions, without coming to a solution. Under stress, they have a hard time containing their feelings and venting their frustrations can significantly negatively impact others. The Reactive conflict style is probably the least supported by the western world, which values rationality and emotional repression. They are in touch with their negative emotions but less so with their positive emotions.
Each Ennneagram type in a specific Harmonic group has its own variation of the general underlying pattern. Different patterns can manifest in different situations, for instance at work or within intimate relationships.
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