What is your conflict style?
The INTENSE REACTIVE CONFLICT STYLE’s response to conflict is direct and confrontational. People with this pattern tend to react strongly and passionately when faced with disappointment, obstacles or difficulties. This conflict style is also called the Emotional Realness pattern, emphasizing honest expression of emotions.
Their manner of emotional self-regulation reflects a need for emotional mirroring. They expect, demand or provoke equally passionate responses from others. When constructive, everybody involved learn about each other’s positions and a resolution is reached that takes into account everyone’s needs.
People using this style may come across more strongly than intended which often leaves them feeling misunderstood, being seen by others as “too much” or “too intense”. They may need to learn to down-regulate and contain intense emotions. In some instances they may come across as aggressive and they need to be conscious of how their venting of frustrations can impact others.
The intense reactive conflict style of Harmonics Group consists of Enneagram types 4, 6, and 8.
Enneagram type 4’s may take a more withdrawn approach, sublimating their strong feelings into artistic expression. They might privately rage, but not externalize their frustrations immediately. In the meantime there is an amplification of their inner states, which may result in depression or a devastating outburst which feels alien to them. They may get stuck in the negative feelings/self-states and see the expression thereof as authenticity.
Enneagram type 6’s may react in outspoken combative, defensive lashing out, standing up for what they believe, drawing attention to anything that feels wrong or dangerous. Most often they may be more selective in their reaction, using the emotional release as a way of assessing people or situations, testing their loyalty and safety.
Enneagram type 8 reacts with aggressive force, with untethered anger and denial of vulnerability. They avoid being controlled and dominated by others and therefore become controlling and domineering in their need for independence/self-reliance. They often feel energized by conflict.
The Enneagram Conflict styles / Harmonics Patterns comprise a person’s defense or coping mechanism in response to stressful situations, whether faced with conflict, obstacles, difficulties or disappointment. It is an emotional regulation pattern for coping with unmet needs.
People may have different patterns in different situations or contexts, whether at work or in interpersonal relationships.
Even if it is not their dominant response, other Enneagram types might be connected to a specific conflict style through the wings or the inner connecting lines and express themselves in this manner in specific triggering situations. For example, the Enneagram 2, the considerate helper has internal connections (inner lines) to both the Enneagram 4 and 8. Consequently, the reactive conflict style may be a shadow aspect for them even though their main conflict style is Positive Outlook which I will be discussing next.
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